As many of you know, my faith crisis began in 2006. I walked through this stage of my mormon faith crisis many moons ago. The paradigm shift one goes through when you experience a faith crisis is swift and leaves you feeling like you are free falling for a while.
"Someone asked me the other day, “what is a faith crisis?” That question took me right back to some of my darkest days. My own personal, emotional, painful, beautiful awakening.
The time when I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. The time when I didn’t want to get out of bed. The time of life when everything seemed scary and I didn’t know what to do. A time when the rug was pulled out from under me and I felt lost in a blur of scary emotions.
It was 2006 and I had finally given myself permission to start following my inner voice. The one I had been pushing down for years. The one I wanted to ignore, because intuitively, I knew that once I opened that door, life would never be the same again.
It was true. But I am so proud of myself. Thankful for the fall. It is strange to look at it like that, but, I made it through. It is hard to explain a complete paradigm shift and what that really feels like. All of the above and more.
A faith crisis, when everything you ever believed vanishes in an instant. Everything. I
t messes things up for a while. I couldn’t tell up from down. Free falling is what I call it now. But then, one day, after a lot of pain, the whole world comes into a beautiful more colorful view.
More possibility. Less guilt and shame. More authenticity. More love. More joy. More freedom. More everything. There is no set time for any of this to happen. It just happens.
One day you wake up and you’ve made it through the hardest part. There may be days that still bite you in the ass, but even those days feel different now. Life is beautiful.
I’m not even sure this answers the question properly, but it is a random flow of feelings and thoughts at this moment. I wouldn’t trade my story for anything, as hard as all the fallout was. I’m still standing, with no shame anymore. My world is beautiful, with all the parts above.
Now, I get to help others navigate this beautiful messy road. This is my why. You are never alone. I help you create soft landings for when your world is falling apart.
Have you had a faith crisis? I highly recommend it."
Oodles of love to you going through your own faith crisis. You never have to be alone during this process.